I am not reviewing Metallica's Death Magnetic because it leaked Wednesday...

I'm just not going to do it...instead, I'm going to give you a hypothetical view on what I may think of Metallica's new album Death Magnetic.

The album starts with "That Was Just Your Life". It might just signal the beginning of Metallica's return to their 80s form (The decade that brought Kill 'Em All, Ride the Lightning, Master of Puppets, and ...And Justice for All). But I wouldn't know because I haven't listened to the album yet.

"The End of the Line" may have one of the better riffs at the four-minute mark...but that's only because a friend who listened to the album told me about it.

The first single "The Day That Never Comes" is the only song I've heard from this album so far, I swear! It's a mix of a lot of their most popular 80s songs wrapped into one...you've got a bit of Fade to Black in there, a bit of One, a bit of Orion and Master of Puppets.

The song "All Nightmare Long" may be the best song on the album...at least that's what a lot of fans are saying...but again, I wouldn't know, I haven't had this song on repeat for a half an hour.

"Cyanide" is a song that I've only heard live...because I didn't go to Metallica.com to listen to the full sample of the song or five others on the album. I don't like the lyrics so much, but the riffs are what make Metallica, Metallica.

"The Unforgiven III" may feature a piano/strings intro...which actually might be an ode to S&M...but again, I have only heard a clip of it so I really wouldn't know.

"Suicide and Redemption" could be a track that's 10 minutes long and it may not have any vocals...because I heard that the album has one instrumental...What?!? I WIKI'D IT!!!!

That may be a bit of a long instrumental...but it could very well set up a nice backdrop for the last song on the album...because I've not played this album since Wednesday...because it comes out on September 12th. 

This album might earn itself an 8.5 out of 10 because it sounds like a bridge between ...And Justice for All and The Black Album...but I have absolutely, positively not listened to the album so I can't have any opinion whatsoever? Who do you think I am, Maxim?

On an unrelated note, I really need to work on my code language.